30 Minutes or Less

Tonight I saw "30 Minutes or Less"  ...the movie was short, as movies go, something like 82 minutes, so with previews, nearly two hours.  Have you ever noticed that the shorter the movie, the more previews they show.  But previews aside, they packed a whole lot into those 82 minutes, so, let's get to the rating.  This movie gets a Full Pizza, and a couple of beers. 

It is ironic, because the main character "Nick" played quite well by Jesse Eisenberg delivers pizza - which is partly why I gave it a full pizza rating, pizza begets pizza.  The main supporting character "Chet" played even better by Aziz Ansari was hilarious in his role as both a Teacher and as Nick's partner in the protagonist buddy set.  This is not Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, but it is an action, adventure, comedy and a buddy film all in one.  Even though these guys hate each other, they really are best friends.  Throughout the movie we learn how this is, so I won’t ruin it, suffice to say, it is an amusing backstory.

The antagonist buddy set consists of "King Dwayne" played by Danny McBride recently of the utterly forgettable "Your Highness" and "Travis", played by Nick Swardson of the soon to be released "Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star".  This is a truly sad pair of friends, King Dwayne and his mullet live at home with his ex Marine father, who he wants to kill for his money, and we are not really sure where Travis lives, but he learned his bomb making on the internet.  So many marketable skills you can learn today online.

There are lots of other characters who help make the movie, add laughs through their stereotypes, but they are not remarkable individually.  That said, together, they provide nearly continuous amusement through the entire movie.

This movie crosses some lines, most comedies of this ilk do today.   It does not cross the same lines as Bad Santa did so well a number of years ago, or MacGruber (worst movie I've ever seen) did so horribly last year, more like Bad Teacher.   It was funny, it was certainly worth watching, and it provided a lot of laughs, only a few of those were gut wrenching laughs though.  Do you have to see it on the big screen, no, but if you like this genera, you should see it.  There are more than enough one liners to support the whole movie.

..and finally, if you are offended by lots of bad words (most of the ones on the late George Carlin's list) then this movie really is not for you. 

Now for a bonus review.  My son (nearly age 6) saw the new Smurfs movie, this is his review of it:

It was the greatest movie of this week, because I haven't seen Cars 2 this week.....that's why I said this week. I really loved the beginning part a lot because I've never seen the smurfs before and it was a great start for me.

I hope you enjoyed this, and until next time, stay healthy, and be happy

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Ok folks, here it is, my first movie review.  Last night I saw "Rise of the Planet of the Apes"...or "Rise" as some like to shorten it to.  I am giving this movie 3/4 of a Pizza and three Beers. 

If you're new to this ratings thing, that is a pretty good review.  The best review would be a full Pizza and a pitcher of Beer.  With this movie, you're satisfied when you're done and the pitcher is definately more than half full.  It is good, the CGI is really good, ok, the CGI is great.  I normally go to movies on Tuesdays, when the price is only $7.00, but last night was the only time I could go this week, so I paid full price, it was worth the $9.50 I had to shell out.

In general, the Apes make the movie, and except for John Lithgow's performance, the human characters aren't really that good.  The fact that the Apes, and really the main character, Caesar, make the movie is good, because they are the focal point of the movie.  The emotions shown by the Apes far out pace those of their human counterparts. 

Now I don't want to spoil the movie for anyone, so I won't give away any details, but I went into this thinking how could a small bunch of apes, no matter how smart they are, take over the Earth.  This question is answered very well in the film...so no worries there.

Caesar does not have a lot to say in this film, he is pretty new to the whole talking thing, but he seemingly finds his voice in a later film: Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972).  I can truly see the character from the current film uttering these words down the road...so either the makers of this film spent some time investigating the old series, or they got really lucky.

Caesar (1972): But now... now we will put away our hatred. Now we will put down our weapons. We have passed through the Night of the Fires. And who were our masters are now our servants. And we, who are not human, can afford to be humane. Destiny is the will of God. And, if it is man's destiny to be dominated, it is God's will that he be dominated with compassion and understanding. So, cast out your vengeance. Tonight, we have seen the birth of the Planet of the Apes!

In my opinion, this film warrents a sequel, which in the story timeline would actually be another prequel, and yes, I know it is confusing...not Star Wars series confusing, but give it time, it could easily get there...at least you wont have to deal with a crazy numbering schema here.

So, wth that, I will end my first ever blog entry/movie review.  In the coming weeks I will be reviewing more movies, as I see them, and for all you football fans out there, I will be reviewing the start of the NFL season in the coming weeks as well.  For now, peace out...and go enjoy some Pizza and Beer (at the movies).